Why Coming First Is Bad?
Coming in first in some of parts of your life is great, others not so much. For instance one of the more depressing things for men is to be first to come in bed. That means having an orgasm before your partner reaches hers. The situation is commonly referred to as premature ejaculation.
It may be normal for aroused pubescent boys to reach orgasm really fast. And teenagers engaging in sex with a partner the first time around have been known to climax within seconds. Of course, much to the displeasure of their partners in bed. It really shouldn’t happen after a while.
Younger men complain about premature ejaculation more often. Frequent sex experiences common at this age have been a learning experience in controlling ejaculation to satisfy his partner. As you get older and become an adult, you are expected to be mature enough to be good at it.
Sadly, that’s not always the case. It’s not exactly uncommon. About 40% of men are known to have premature orgasm. It afflicts men past their teens and into their prime. Even men in there 40s and above and married for years can suffer from it as well. Not that they do not care that it happens. They simply cannot control it.
It is said that it takes the average man only three minutes to reach orgasm after starting sexual intercourse. The ideal outcome would be that both partners reach climax at about the same time. Premature ejaculation would more than likely have the man reaching orgasm much earlier than the female. This happens at the expense of the woman. She has yet to climax and is left unsatisfied.
Not only is this depressing for the man, it creates some tension between the two as the partner is left unsatisfied during lovemaking. In married life, that can lead to stress, frustration and disappointment for the couple’s sex life. Needless to say, this can lead to extramarital affairs and even divorce.
Sex is supposed to be a wonderful thing. But it doesn’t get anywhere satisfying for a couple when the man ejaculates first. For sure there are ways to tame premature orgasm. From desensitizing creams applied to the genitals to taking pills, to exercises of the pelvic muscles, the efforts can border on desperation. Many me can do it on his own with some experimentation. However, the condition is often traced to emotional, mental and psychological reasons. It is best that a serious therapeutic counseling encounter with the experts be made. Recognizing there is a problem and seeking professional help is always the first step to a cure.
Luckily enough, premature ejaculation can be cured. Being the first to orgasm need not be permanent. And a sympathetic partner helps. Some of the most effective ways involve the couple working together under calm and relaxed conditions for a sex session. A lot of patience and understanding is needed. But once the emotional and psychological baggage are identified and neutralized, the sooner the couple can experience the joys of a mutually satisfying sex life. This is one of the few situations when two heads are much better than one.
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